Welcome to Stepdivas!
|This group is for stepmoms who do
not have biological children. This means that when
you are granted membership to the forums here, you have no children of your own.
However, if you should become pregnant and have children of your own, you will
not be removed from this site. We understand that relationships will be formed
here and we do not aim to take those away. However, when you do have children
of your own, it is important that you refrain from using the statement "it's
different when they're your own". We all know that to be true. Those members
who have children after they have joined will be welcome to stay, but sadly,
we ask that those who do have children already join many of us in friendship
and support at a site such as www.secondwivescafe.com
Privacy is of absolute importance here. While it would be alright to share certain
jokes with your family (DH), and to use the support you find here to help you
in your home relationships, we request that things
that are clearly very personal (for example: personal reflections in posts and
photos posted in the photo area, or member pages) be strictly for the use and
viewing of members.
It is important thatt all new members are clear that this board is designed
to serve a specific "set" of stepmoms...those who do not have biological
children. As stepmoms who do not have biological children we recognize that we
do not have the same emotions and understanding that women who have given birth
do. We realize that we face unique challenges and we seek to do the best that
we can in our roles as stepmom. It is for this reason that we have sought the
company, companionship and support of other stepmoms who do not have biological
We do not set out to be elitist in this philosophy, nor do we feel that we are
above or below those who do have children... we just understand one fundamental
thing, being a stepmom is not like being a mom, and we understand very clearly
that "it's different when they're your own"... it has to be.
All we ask is that we be respected in our needs, and in our desire to be the
best stepmoms we can possibly be.
I started this site three years ago because I sought specific support, and I
believe in the necessity of it as a stepmom who does not have biological children.
This site changed my life in ways that general stepmom and stepfamily sites were
unable to, in ways that counseling sessions designed for this specific situation
were unable to.
For these reasons, I strive to maintain the integrity of this site.
I feel it is critical that we support one another.
This may at times mean that we refrain from comparing our circumstances. There
are infinite combinations that come into play in stepfamilies. For me to tell
any other stepmother that their stepchild is going to turn out just like my stepchild
is probably not a reasonable conclusion to draw. The behaviours of the children
may be similar, but it is almost certain that their life histories are not. Each
of us brings different knowledge to the forum, different experiences and different
opinions. It is of utmost importance that we share these in the most constructive
manner possible, and do our best to offer hope
to one another.
I believe in supporting stepmoms, but I will emphasize that the goal of this
site is to support stepmoms who do not have biological children.